Hitting the Books

Confessions of a Teen Sleuth Chelsea Cain

Ok, I’ll confess too. I don’t like Nancy Drew. I tried to read her growing up, and just could not connect with the beautiful, titian-haired, rich, perfect teen. No, I was a Trixie Belden girl. I could identify with her. I too was short, “sturdy,” opened my mouth before thinking, and was definitely not rich nor perfect. I picked up Confessions of a Teen Sleuth not because it was about Nancy Drew, but because of the opening paragraph of the introduction.

“If you are reading this, then I am gone and this manuscript, per my instruction, has been delivered to the writer Chelsea Cain for publication as she sees fit. I chose Ms. Cain as my editor based on the merits of her four-volume Trixie Belden biography, which won the National Book Award last year.”

That got my attention. Alas, there is no such biography (I looked–maybe she’ll write it someday), but I decided to read the book anyway–perhaps Trixie would show up somewhere (she doesn’t, but her daughter does.).

That being said, Confessions is a witty little book (it’s only 160 pages–a nice easy evening’s read), based on the idea that Nancy Drew was a real person (and Carolyn Keene merely a jealous college roommate who made a living off of Nancy’s experiences). It’s written in the style of the old mysteries, complete with over-blown details of who wore what and words like “Jeepers.” I probably missed a lot of the inside jokes, but those I did catch were amusing. Quite a few of the classic teen sleuths show up: the Hardy boys, Cherry Ames (who does not get along with Nancy at all), Tom Swift, Vicki Barr, and many others.

Despite the slight tarnishing of the characters’ squeaky-clean images, I still found Confessions to be an enjoyable little parody.

PLOT SPOILERS AHEAD!

One final gripe. Call me old-fashioned, but jeepers! Why do modern authors insist on interjecting “modern” lack of morals into the old-time characters? For that reason, this is not a book I’d recommend for preteens/teens. Like much fanfic, one of the main plots is definitely adult (and adulterous) in nature. I first noticed this tendency when reading Trixie Belden fanfic online. I’m sorry, Trixie would never do some of the things those “fans” had her doing (Getting pregnant, moving to Australia to raise Jim’s illegitimate twin daughters and refusing to let anyone know where she was? I don’t think so. Extremely out of character.)

Likewise, I can’t see Nancy Drew acting the way she does in some sections of this book. Supposedly she and Frank Hardy have a thing going, even while she is married to the oh-so-boring Ned Nickerson. Ned Jr. (who ends up marrying Foxy Belden-Frayne, Trixie and Jim’s daughter), isn’t Ned’s son after all. Nancy eventually leaves Ned because “It’s not in my nature” to be married, but they remain “special friends.” It’s not until the very end, after Ned is dead, that she finally gets together with Frank, her one true love. Whatever. Also, it’s more than hinted at that George, Nancy’s tomboyish childhood chum, is actually homosexual, something I’m quite certain was never even remotely considered in the original books.