The Reels of My Mind
One of the points all three judges made of my manuscript was that the story started too far from the action. I wondered about that, because I thought I had started as close to the action as possible and still set the scene properly. I think I’ve finally figured out the problem.
I’m trying to transcribe a movie.
Trying to set down every little action, snippet of dialog, bit of scenery that shows itself on the screen in my head when I’m thinking through the story. But what takes a few moments to play out on-screen takes 4 or 5 pages of exposition to show to a reader. And that’s far too much information, far too slowly.
I’m pretty good at showing, not telling–I’m just trying to show too much. (That’s also why I’ve been very tempted to turn my fantasy series into a graphic novel, if I could only find an illustrator I could trust.)
So now I’m trying to learn the balance between describing exactly what I see in my head and giving the reader enough information to imagine the scene for themselves. I suppose I should be thankful for a vivid imagination, but it is rather difficult to pare back all those little details. It’s not something I’ve done particularly well up to this point, in all my other writings, not just this story.
Which also answers the question why I’m pretty good at adding in sight and hearing details, but not touch, taste, or smell–those things don’t show up in a movie.
Does anyone else struggle with this? Is it a common issue among writers? How do you get around the problem?
August 19th, 2006 at 9:19 am
Problem is sometimes caused by basic creative writing classes. Students are given a descriptive exercise to detail a room, a person, a scene. Can cause a habit that’s hard to break. I approach details by asking if they contribute to the movement of the plot, significantly explain a character, are they essential?
August 20th, 2006 at 5:13 am
Sometimes a couple of sentences of telling does the job of five pages of showing – Kipling’s short stories are brilliant for giving a thumbnail sketch of a character or setting in a handful of words. E.g. his description of The Worm in His Wedded Wife, “He objected to whist, cut the cloth at billiards, sang out of tune, kept very much to himself, and wrote to his Mamma and sisters at home.” That gives me a picture of The Worm in one sentence and I’m ready to be told a story about him. I once heard a radio adaptation of the same story where the dramatist laboriously ’showed’ all these things in ten minutes of utter tedium.
However, telling is a no-no, they say, regardless of how effective it is. So you’re doing the right thing in paring back the details. I’d agree with Bernita, only the details that make the plot move or say something about the character are needed. If those are in, the reader can probably fill in the rest if they want to.