Wow! Thanks bunches for the comments. Good point on the horses. I like talking horses, so for me it’s not an automatic ho-hum, but I can see your point and will look into that.

Giftedness and seeing the Fae aren’t related. Both tend to run in certain bloodlines, but you can see the Fae without being Gifted, and vice versa. Being Gifted is rare as many cultures have been systematically killing off those who have it (the Spanish Inquisition did a number on them, etc). Travis gets it from his Irish mother (though not his English/German father), while Star (who also has some Gifts) gets it from her Scottish father and Welsh mother.

Travis can understand “four-leggers,” basically mammals. It’ll come up later that the North doesn’t exactly approve of Gifts, while the South tends to view them more as God-given Talents to be used like any other Talent (Lieut. Mosby, for example)

He did know the Shakespeare quote–he was playing up the “uncivilized Yankee” role Star had tagged him with. (I’ve done some work there recently, so hopefully it’s a bit more obvious now). He’s had a “gentleman’s education” since the Blacks are an old, upper middle class family in the area, and he loves to read (even novels, though he’d never admit that to anyone).

I think that answers most the the points you brought up. Thanks again for taking the time to read and comment. I really, really appreciate it.

Your chapter flows very well. The language and grammar are good enough that I can think about the story instead of about mechanics, which is great. I don’t know anything about the Civil War, so can’t comment on the setting.

I read a lot of fantasy, though, and I have to say I almost stopped reading when the horse spoke. I kept going, and it eventually was OK in context, but you’ll need to find a way to get past that reaction.

The chapter also doesn’t start fast enough. The dryad is fine, but you need to get to the fight almost immediately. I’d suggest starting with a couple paragraphs with the dryad and then transitioning directly into the fight, without letting us know Travis can understand Meg. If the first horse to speak was Iris, followed by Meg commenting on Iris’s surprise at Travis understanding her (wow, that’s a horrible sentence, sorry), I think that would blunt the long-time fantasy reader reaction of “oh, not another talking horse”.

I love the air magic, and thinking of it as “twisting”. I don’t yet have a sense of the limits on Travis’s Giftedness, though, which might be an issue. So far he talks to Fae and horses and twists air, but he doesn’t seem to understand birds. Since more Confederates are Gifted but the dryad hasn’t met any (I assume), I have to assume Giftedness is rare, but I don’t know what its levels are yet. (Yes, it’s only the first chapter.)

I’m not sure why Travis knows Latin but not Shakespeare. And he’s Irish and German, and isn’t that the period where the Irish were looked down upon, so why would he have a classical education? Some Latin I could see for the Mass, but Greek mythology? But like I said, I don’t know the period or where exactly the character is coming from (he’s a lieutenant, so ought to be upper class in spite of the ethnicity…), so I have no idea if these concerns are valid.

If I picked this up, I’d at least keep reading another chapter to see if Starla has a personality, even if I’m not generally a fan of damsels in distress. I like the touches like the blue dress being mistaken for a uniform. Nice work!